Letting go of what you know, what is familiar, what you know works fine. I don’t like fine. I prefer great. So the reason you do this, is to make it better, right? For you, for B. and therefore for J. So letting go is hard. Starting new however is exciting! So focus on that! Together with J. Start making plans about her new room, her new life. Talk and dream together before you are caught up in work and just living your life again.
Don’t get me wrong. I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’m the same. Always that guilt, that all consuming kind.
I remember vividly when I was pregnant of S. The first months I was in denial that there would ever actually be a real baby. I was so busy with my body changing and especially my figure disappearing, buying too many clothes for him and decorating his little corner of our room. I didn’t think that much about really taking care of him, or raising him yet. But at the end, after reading all the mom magazines (you’re a true addict, or you’re not) I had it all planned out.
I would use the ‘three R’s’ like a bible, my boy would not eat sugar before he turned two, only fresh food and preferably home made. No tv, of course, and no ugly plastic bright toys. Not in my house. Only toys that would fit my decor and esthetics.
I got inspired by a couple of little girls lying on the beach with perfect glittery mermaid tails and ditto hair. I couldn’t wish for more. So I grabbed my family and some gear and took off to the beach when it was still sunny here in Holland.
So. Hi! Us too? Yes. Us too. It’s not the first time we hop on an already moving train. And you know what? It will not be the last.
But it’s in our head. For a few years now. It comes and goes like a manic episode, but always there and waiting for a moment to pop. Besides some small things on other blogs, that time was never there. Yet.
So what do you do when you run into each other online, meet in real life, talk (a lot) and come to the conclusion you want the same? You just do it.
Two girls, pretty much the same but different, searching, oversharing on Instagram, and dying to have fun.
Not new. Not better. Not perfect.
More like one of those many potato chips you find in the super market or a door in a wall. Not different from all the others. But for us it’s a connection. Between dreams and reality, thoughts and words. Between two time zones and continents. And we decided to open up for who wants to see how we take our what’sapp conversation and Instagram account to a next level.
So here I am crying because we decided to quit day care. We need to get ready for our next move. By the end of this year. And because of my in between jobs status there’s not much space, financial wise.
It hit me in the face when B told me to tell the ladies at day care today. I just can’t and I think you are the one person who knows exactly what I mean. Right? How in the world did you do that?
Of course I miss my mom. Everything I learned about strength is from her. And she’s super woman at this moment. But next to that I’m still pretty much ok. Yes, I Would love to meet up with some friends, but internet, mail and what’s app make it so much easier. And let’s be honest, me and most friends are in the same boat, having small kids. So it’s lovely to meet up, but there is not that much room to have a real, meaningful, in-depth conversation when ‘they’ are around. And if you’re not in the same boat, if you want to or not, it’s even harder.
My life is captured in hundreds of photos my family took along the way. My father still carries a photo camera around his waist, ready to pull it out and shoot anything. My mother glued all those photos in albums with special glue and a saté skewer for ultimate precision. My brothers have those big camera’s and my sister has a better photo side (the same as mine, so we fight). We all love pictures. Of us. Autotimer is our favourite.
So we went away. To lovely and beautiful Joshua Tree. And on our way home we stopped at the Ace Hotel in Palm Springs and stayed a night (bucket list – one down).
Once a month, I also write a little blog for the girls from mini style, and sometimes they even ask me to shoot some (product) photos for them. I love making photos, but my kids? Not so much, which I understand and try to respect (yes, I’m failing, but I do try!).