Being 4

This girl is a champ. But she’s having a tough time being 4. School used to be something magic when she was still at daycare. All the big kids said their happy goodbyes en left for school. And all she wished for was her fourth birthday, and then… 

She was crazy happy those first days. Running around on overcharged batteries. Glowing like J Lo during her moments of fame. Blending in so easily. But it started to crack a few weeks ago. First tired, than sad. Asking me to stay home. Tantrums found their way back into our home. She woke me up at 3am to tell me she couldn’t sleep because all she could think of is school and out of school care. Even if she closed her eyes to see the television in her head, it was school school school (her words). She cried her sadest tears and held on to me like she was nearly drowning.

Yeah. That hurts. Seeing your child struggle. But it also made me feel strong. I could hold on to her so she wouldn’t drown, have faith in her and help her get through this. Sounds easy, but that’s a big fat lie. It took me hundreds of messages to my girlfriends, thousands of brain cells, millions of tears, zillions of swear words, but we’re getting there. She’s finding her way through this new 4 year old life (with our photo in her backpack) and I’m finding my way through motherhood (with chocolate in my purse).

And on a side note: being a child psychologist doesn’t say anything when it comes to your own crew. Or I’m just a lousy one.

XV

2 Comments

  1. Loreen February 22, 2017

    Oh my, nog meer buikpijn. Nog drie weken dan moet ik die van mij loslaten in die wereld:(

    Reply
    • Vie March 1, 2017

      Komt nu steeds dichterbij he?! Hoop dat het goed gaat xx

      Reply

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