Copy paste. Magic when using Microsoft Word. But when it comes to living your life it’s an illusion.
When I was little I had this desperate urge to be the same as the girls in class. But how hard I tried, I wasn’t. The colour of my skin and the shape of my eyes just didn’t work with me.
So one day I decided to try and not care anymore. I wanted to be me. Loud, spilling my every thought, wearing petticoats with surf tops and red heels in third grade and making jokes no one understood.
Sounds pretty rad when I write this down now. Back then it wasn’t. It made people notice me but also have an opinion. Kids laughed and that hurts when you’re 8. So I made my mother buy me Oilily and bought Alanis Morisette instead of Mariah Carey because that’s what popular girls do. Always hoping to be part of the flock.
I struggled and I failed. Oilily was too expensive and I hated Alanis. But somewhere in high school things changed. Being V, and a little different, was slowly fitting me (and the hot guys, finally).
Now it itches when I see people copy paste just to be part of a group. Weird because I know how it feels to have that urge, so I should understand right? And I do. In the back of my head I still hear that squeaky voice yelling at me to keep trying and fit in some more.
But up until this day, my life made me learn that being yourself no matter what is the best you can do, because that’s all there is. People might laugh or criticise what you do, but people always will.
So if you buy that black and white dotted tablecloth or the whole collection of Bobo Choses because you love it, please go ahead and make yourself happy. But if you buy it to get noticed, remember you don’t have to. People want to see YOU. At least I do.
And I might have bought the entire H&M All For Children collection, for what it’s worth.
End of monologue.