Well, that was sort of unexpected. Here I was, thinking we take it slow. I ask you how you like your coffee, you ask me how I like my eggs in the morning. Or what my favorite sweater is. Of course not. You ask me to be a mermaid!
I hate this ‘challenge’. I hate games. And I hate you. But if I play…. I take that shit serious (pardon my french)!
You know those days when mother and child just can’t get on the same page? Well today is exhibit A of that. She screamed, I screamed louder. She wanted cookies, I wanted wine. I felt like writing a nice blogpost, she didn’t feel like napping.
Well that didn’t happen, so instead of a post I have top level stress hormones juggling around my body. I don’t want that (B neither, he’s hiding in the kitchen as we speak).
Last week I was away for two days. When I returned to our house and walked in, it hit me: it felt like coming home!
I love our place. It’s spacious, it’s light and it has a perfect garden (with lemons!). So I’m happy living here. But next to the beige carpet there is one more thing I’m dying to part with… The kitchen! That brown, old and dirty kitchen. I swear my fridge is older than me.
I love Alice in Wonderland. I am Alice in Wonderland. At least, I was when B and I first met. On a dating site. Yes, you heard that right, a dating site.
After one year of single life I signed myself up, with 2 pictures and some weird text about me and how I was waiting for a prince to drop out of the air. I wasn’t serious and I certainly wasn’t planning on dating…
Honestly? I was planning to skip Halloween this year. B. was away for work the whole week and the thought of doing this all by myself, with my busy two, didn’t sound that appealing. And he never experienced it before, so he wasn’t aware of what he would miss out on.
But walking down the street, going to the supermarket, watching tv… You can’t escape Halloween, nowhere to hide! And if you follow me on Instagram you know how much my kids love to dress up.
So my sweet friend Ellen came to the rescue. She invited us to celebrate with her and some friends in Santa Monica. And I’m so glad she did!!
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Vy-tje!
Big things happening in your life! Life changing things. But I don’t think it’s about growing up. It’s more about letting go. And letting go is the hardest.
Letting go of what you know, what is familiar, what you know works fine. I don’t like fine. I prefer great. So the reason you do this, is to make it better, right? For you, for B. and therefore for J. So letting go is hard. Starting new however is exciting! So focus on that! Together with J. Start making plans about her new room, her new life. Talk and dream together before you are caught up in work and just living your life again.
Don’t get me wrong. I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’m the same. Always that guilt, that all consuming kind.
I remember vividly when I was pregnant of S. The first months I was in denial that there would ever actually be a real baby. I was so busy with my body changing and especially my figure disappearing, buying too many clothes for him and decorating his little corner of our room. I didn’t think that much about really taking care of him, or raising him yet. But at the end, after reading all the mom magazines (you’re a true addict, or you’re not) I had it all planned out.
I would use the ‘three R’s’ like a bible, my boy would not eat sugar before he turned two, only fresh food and preferably home made. No tv, of course, and no ugly plastic bright toys. Not in my house. Only toys that would fit my decor and esthetics.
You can find these toys here: little blue tractor / bus / elephant / helicopter
So, five years further….
Wakie wakie Lonny! It’s time for a new challenge!
I got inspired by a couple of little girls lying on the beach with perfect glittery mermaid tails and ditto hair. I couldn’t wish for more. So I grabbed my family and some gear and took off to the beach when it was still sunny here in Holland.