Big things happening in your life! Life changing things. But I don’t think it’s about growing up. It’s more about letting go. And letting go is the hardest.
Letting go of what you know, what is familiar, what you know works fine. I don’t like fine. I prefer great. So the reason you do this, is to make it better, right? For you, for B. and therefore for J. So letting go is hard. Starting new however is exciting! So focus on that! Together with J. Start making plans about her new room, her new life. Talk and dream together before you are caught up in work and just living your life again.
Don’t get me wrong. I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’m the same. Always that guilt, that all consuming kind.
I remember S his last month at day care, before we took him off for the same reasons as you. He had two best friends, always together, always on his mind, a major part of his small world. Both of them left to go to school a little before him. Their farewell was on a day I kept him home, because he was not feeling well. I forgot all about it. When I found out he missed their last day, I was in shock. I felt like the worst mother in the universe! Me and him went to the store, bought cards and little presents to send them, to make me…. him feel better. Fast forward. 3 months later we were walking trough town and ran into one of them. I was so excited! He couldn’t care less, didnt even remember his name!
You know what? It will be the hardest on you. And you know what’s even worse, you’re okay with that because when she’s happy, you are. This fact is both oppressive and very reassuring don’t you think? But you get used to it. And you get to the point where you don’t even mind. That’s growing up.
So embrace the change! It will be great, I just know it.
XM (aka Dr. Phil)
p.s. Going through old photos to add to this post, I suddenly missed my old home, my neighborhood for a sec. But if I’m completely honest, I would never go back. To that house, that place. I loved living there, but apparently I moved on already.