It’s been 4 months already. Me living in LA. I am adjusting, starting to find my way around the supermarket. Our house is almost finished and feels more and more like home.
So far so good. But then there is the building a new social life part. I’m 37 and I have to make new friends. And that is not so easy.
I don’t need loads of friends, because honestly I can’t handle many. I’m a good friend, a loyal friend, and an ‘I move mountains for you’ friend. But I don’t call to chat and I will remember that important thing you have, but probably a day too late. I’m messy. In my house, in my head and in my friendships. But I’m there when I need to, i’m true and I’m always honest.
I just want someone to drink wine with once in a while, talk about women stuff (and yes gossip!!). Bart is sweet, can sew like a champ, but isn’t really into that im afraid. And sometimes you just need someone to complain to, about him, about motherhood, about life, without taking me too serious, or immediately come up with a solution. Of course I have you, but you are asleep half of my day.
So I need to start over and it is so complicated! It’s like being back in high school, or dating. That insecurity… I forgot all about it. But here I am having those conversations in my head again: Do they really like me, or are they just being polite (and boy these people here can be polite!)? It already happened to me that they say “let’s meet up, I can’t wait!”. When I step out of my comfort zone and take the next step it never gets to an actual date. Were they just being friendly? Do I have to make more effort? All of a sudden you doubt everything you once knew.
How did we become friends? I don’t even know really. It just happened. We connected, and it immediately felt real. My social awkwardness and disability to do small talk didn’t stand in our way. Is that how it works? If you meet someone that is like minded, it just falls into place?