This mama thing is taking its toll. On my energy level, my sanity, but most importantly: my body.
I know it’s not done to complain. This wonderful machine created two beautiful and healthy babies and how wonderful is that. I am the luckiest person in the world that is blessed with two sort of easy pregnancies and two perfect, healthy and strong children! But damn, I hate what it did to my body.
I gained the weight of 2 complete babies in the last 5 years. My closet is for 80% filled with beautiful clothes that I still hope one day will fit again. And that breast-feeding fairytale? Both my babies refused a bottle, so I practically fed them through high school… Not an ounce lost.
So to say the least, I’m not in the most confident place in my life right now, if we are talking about physics.
Enough drama, let me get to my point. Do you know the article from Allison Tate ‘Moms stays in the picture‘? If you never heard of it, it’s a must read. It truly is. Especially for us mothers taking million photos of our children, our husbands, every day. The first three times I read it, it made me cry, the ugly cry. It is so spot on. Don’t we all take a step back sometimes, when someone wants to take a picture? It’s just not your day, you didn’t put make up on, you (think you) are overweight? Since I read it, I take a deep breath and I smile. Like she wrote: “I am not perfect to look at and I am not perfect to love, but I am perfectly their mother.”
My most treasured photos are the ones of stolen moments with my kids. The ones where I don’t hold my stomach or try to find my best angle. They are the ones we smile, or dance, do ordinary day-to-day things. I used to delete them immediately. Now I wait a while, and after a few weeks, or sometimes months or even years, I fall in love with them.
And I still have high hopes that when I look back at them, together with my children, we laugh, bring back great memories and they say: ” look mom, how much weight you lost since then!”
So here I am, in all my glory (in black & white, give me some slack…), because I know these are photos I will fall in love with. Some day.